I don’t know how to blog.

I am going to start with an apology, and it is that I don’t know how to blog. I like to write and I can form coherent sentences, but I’m not much of a writer anymore either. So I am sorry if you look at this and think that I am a big dummy. Well, I am a big dummy.

(One of the things I’m working on is to stop talking down at myself. You will see it slip in and out–I really am cutting down, but at this time, I am unable to cut it out completely. When I say that kind of stuff, it’s because I want compliments. Feel free to send me compliments.)

So anyway, here I am. Last night my family threw my sister a huge party for her 23rd birthday, and I just overheard my mom and stepdad talking to another sister about what she wants to do for her 26th birthday.

Forty is a big deal, right? I am not crazy here, correct? But no one seems to care.

(Okay, another sidebar. My sister who is going to celebrate her 26th birthday in a month has Down’s Syndrome, and we all love her beyond words, so I can’t really get too jealous about talk of a celebration for her.)

But I turn 40 tomorrow and no one is doing anything. Nothing. Forty is a big deal, right? I am not crazy here, correct? But no one seems to care.

And no, I do not think I am getting a surprise birthday party. I have already received a gift from a family member at my sister’s party last night. No one has asked me to keep any dates open. Nope. My birthday will pass tomorrow and no one will care.

If anyone is reading this, they are probably thinking how self-centered I am. Well, I know myself and I am pretty vocal about all my flaws. No one would call me a self-centered person, I promise. It is just not who I am. I am just flabbergasted, sad, whatever, that no one is making a big deal out of this birthday.

So, to make a long story short, I  told myself to just get over it. I took stock of my life–who I am, and who I thought I would be at this point. And I am disappointed. But I know I can’t possibly be alone. I know there are many of us out there who wish we would have done life differently. I am sure that I am not on this road alone.

So I am starting this blog to chronicle life at 40. Thanks for joining me. I will talk to you soon.

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